As I was growing up, I thought I was surrounded by people from church who loved me for who I was, but it all turned out that they were just pressuring you into doing things that you don't want to do. Well, during my first year at high school, I was opened up to a lot of oppoprtunities that are out there, from my true best friend I had met in high school. No matter what other people said at church about me finding a true best friend in school, because they all thought I was being stupid and all, I stayed strong. I stayed strong by going out of my own way to show these kids what I am actually made of! I wanted them to see that no matter how young I was, my teenage life is going to change me from going good to bad. I don't mean bad as in doing drugs -- I'm talking bad about how our Mr King of Pop would say it when he's doing something good!
You see, what I meant before, going from good to bad, I meant -- having the ability to stand up what I actually believed in! I knew deep down that my heart was telling me that being part of a group that dishlikes all people who can stand up for themselves are the losers, to leave that group behind and start a fresh new life by going down a track where it would lead me to all kinds of wonderful things. I got into normal phases of liking all the famous people in Hollywood and doing my best to make it through graduation to earn my senior certficate. Let me tell you this....it was not easy staying in high school until the day you graduate! Why? Because there were so many people in my year level dropping out of school at such a random time. I would wonder, what are they going to do with themselves once they dtopped out of school too early? Would they find work or just go on youth allowence, trying to find themselves a job? Well, if you grew up in a small town, there isn't much to do when it comes to finding work! If you need a job then you're better off heading out to the city start a new life!
Back to where I was -- going from good to bad meant that I was finally breaking free from the chains I was caught up in. You see, growing up with a strict religion and not having much to do with yourself, it was hard. I had to decide carefully about what I really wanted to do with myself -- get baptized before I turned eighteen or just start going my own way? Well, relying on other people's opinion, wasn't the way to go. To break free from the chains, I had to find my inspiration from people who will help get on the right track to where I want to go in life. Hearing people talk at church wasn't enough. Bible studies was worse, because I was always sidetracked by people moving about in our house while we were answering boring questions. My aunty & uncle came in one day to collect an old bed from my house, and I couldn't help but watch them drag the old bed from the top of the stairs to outside in their trailer! Sure, my bible studying teacher told me to stay focused on what he was talking about, but is it really my fault that my aunty & uncle were making such a racket, that I had to look away for ten seconds to see whatever it is that they were doing? Yes! It was my own fault to get distracted by moving things.
In the end, after the bible studies were over, I was happy. A lot of people in the religion I grew up in were only happy as soon as church was over it's free time. I've never seen a real smile on their faces. It was always sad and it made me depressed, too. But, I learned to get over that by thinking positve and staying away from people who make you sad because it makes them happy. As I grew older I learned to accept myself as a unique person as much as everybody else is here on our planet earth. I no longer get pulled down by those people from my old religion group. I stay away from them and want nothing to do with them! They don't have much of a good heart as to the people I've met who are outside of my old religion.
So, if you got someone telling you what to do and all -- tell them nicely to rack off and leave you alone! In the end, just be yourself. Forget what others say or think about you -- you're strong just like me!
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